My team and I work with families of high school–aged students every day, guiding them through the college admissions process. What often surprises parents is that the journey begins earlier than they might expect—but not always in the ways they imagine.
College admissions officers are looking for the very same qualities that parents of elementary school aged children aim to cultivate: emotional intelligence, curiosity, creativity, a sense of purpose, and a genuine enthusiasm for learning and growth.
After-school time plays a crucial role in shaping a child’s long-term academic and personal development, starting as early as elementary school. It's often in these unstructured or semi-structured hours that kids begin to explore who they are. Whether it’s joining a sports team, trying out chess, learning an instrument, or simply having free playtime with friends, after-school activities offer a chance to develop passions, build confidence, and practice important life skills like collaboration, resilience, and problem-solving
These experiences allow children to engage with their interests on their own terms and develop intrinsic motivation and self-worth. In many ways, the habits and interests cultivated during after-school hours lay the foundation for future extracurricular involvement and help students evolve into the very best versions of themselves.
The Power of After-School Hours
It’s never too soon for parents of elementary schoolers to start thinking about long-term growth. Elementary school is the time to help kids develop strong study habits, embrace academic challenges, and explore their interests with enthusiasm (not because it will “look good” someday on a college application, but because those qualities build character, confidence, and curiosity).
Our 11th and 12th graders who pursue activities they’re truly excited about tend to be the most successful; it’s not just because of the skills they build, but because of the joy and motivation that fuel their efforts. Whether they’re launching a podcast on a topic they care about, building an app to solve a real problem, or organizing a community fundraiser, student-led projects foster initiative and purpose and help kids see that their effort can lead to real impact.
Ironically, this mindset shift away from the end goal of college and toward the process of becoming a capable, fulfilled person is exactly what leads to the strongest applicants down the road.
Balancing Structure, Play, and Rest
Balancing play and structure in after-school time starts with giving yourself, and your child, permission to slow down. While structured activities have their place, the small moments at home can be just as powerful. It’s often the little, consistent habits that help kids develop curiosity, critical thinking, and a sense of connection to the world around them.
In our family, we listen to podcasts in the car and talk about interesting articles at dinner. We also discuss our own work in age-appropriate ways and ask our kids for their opinions on the challenges we’re facing. It shows them their ideas matter, and gives them a window into how adults problem-solve and continue learning.
As for scheduling activities, creating meaningful, manageable after-school rhythms starts with collaboration. Instead of making all the decisions, bring your child into the conversation: What excites you? What sounds “cool,” challenging, or different? When kids have a say, they’re more likely to feel ownership and stay engaged.
Fostering Passion, Creativity, and Growth
It’s less about choosing the “right” activity and more about encouraging kids to set a goal and work toward it. Whether they’re rehearsing a play, learning a piece of music, or building skills in a sport, these experiences help children connect effort with growth.
Designing after-school time with the future in mind doesn’t mean turning childhood into a checklist. It means being thoughtful about where your child’s interests are heading and what that might mean for your family’s choices.
In particular, when sports are involved, some families are faced with the long-term implications of their choices well before high school begins. For example, a student considering college recruitment often needs to commit to year-round training, frequent weekend travel, and a more narrowed focus, sometimes at the expense of other activities. This can be one of the earliest inflection points where families ask: Are we doing this for college—or because our child truly loves it?
Neither path is right or wrong. But making the choice consciously, with clarity about your child’s goals and values, can make a huge difference.
Redefining Success—Starting Now
Future planning is important, but so is immersing yourself and your child in what’s genuinely interesting today. When you follow your children' s curiosity, nurture their strengths, and create space for discovery, you’re not just planting seeds for later—you’re building a meaningful, connected life in the present. And that’s what truly sets the foundation for the years to come.
