I know I’m not alone in saying that, as a mother of two small children, there’s not a lot of time for self-care or beauty rituals. Some days, it feels I only catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror while brushing my teeth, while managing children who don’t like the idea of their mother wanting privacy in the bathroom. I know it’s “just a season” but for my own sanity, well-being and frankly my appearance, I’ve come up with some manageable things I can do daily either during the morning, sprinkled throughout the day or as part of an evening ritual. I usually try to do all these things every day as it improves my mood and they feel like tiny acts of self-love.
To show you how realistic these things are for a busy mom, I’ve even included a time duration next to each item (and of course this can vary depending on the person and how much time she wants or is able to dedicate to it, but I put the minimum amount of time in order to have some kind of benefit).
Lemon water (1 minute)
This is amazing for your digestive system—a few squeezes of a lemon in a glass of warm water first thing in the morning is the best thing for you. (I mix the water I boil for my tea with room temperature water, and chug it while my tea steeps, which I drink more slowly). It has an alkalizing effect (ultimately), hydrates and is a good source of vitamin C (I also think it makes me glow). On the downside, however, lemon water is terrible for your teeth so be sure to brush afterwards. Hydration is one of the most important things for the body of course, at any age, and when I get bored of water, I drink herbal teas, iced or hot, or I add a flavored electrolyte packet to my water.
Breathwork (5 minutes)
Breathwork is important for reducing anxiety, especially for us moms who have a lot of it. There are so many different methods. You could try alternate nostril breathing, also known as Nadi Shodhana, box breathing, also known as square breathing (what the Navy Seals do!) or the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique, developed by the late Andrew Weil. This is the one I prefer and here are the simple instructions: Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 7. Exhale forcefully through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat. I like it because it’s easy to remember and I can do it hands free (like while driving), but in an ideal world, you would do breathwork when you have a few moments of quiet or when you’re soaking up the sunshine outside. And if my kids catch me doing it, I’ll have them join in because deep breathing is cleansing and relaxing and good for everyone.
Journaling (5 minutes)
I’m an avid journal keeper and recommend doing this first thing in the morning before anyone is up. I follow Julia Cameron’s morning pages religiously—three handwritten pages of stream of consciousness. It’s detoxifying and clarifying. Read more about it in her amazing book The Artist’s Way.
Aromatherapy (1 minute set-up)
This is a fun one. I feel like everyone has a diffuser in their home—a random Christmas gift maybe. Why not use it? There is nothing wrong with a fragrant home, and this is safer and less toxic than burning candles (which can be a fire hazard, especially with rambunctious children). Aromatherapy can be mood-boosting and promote an overall sense of wellness (among other purported benefits). All you need are some good quality essential oils from a place like doTerra or Young Living. I usually put the diffuser on the long wooden art table (basically what used to be our dining room table before kids), but it’s also nice to keep in the bedroom to promote sleep, especially for those who get a second wind at bedtime.
Yoga and meditation (5-10 minutes)
You may not have time for an entire yoga class every day, but you can easily do a few yoga poses at home (and kids love doing yoga too!) A few sun salutations, cat-cow pose and maybe even pigeon pose. There are so many free online guided yoga tutorials on YouTube, and some of them are literally no longer than five minutes. So break out your mat (Gaiam also makes really cute kids yoga mats that I got for my little ones). As soon as it warms up, we will all be doing yoga on the deck in the sunshine. If you’re able to do yoga on your own (like when the kids are in school), this would segue nicely into meditation in whatever form—sitting or in savasana pose or even movement meditation, which I wrote about recently in my Substack newsletter, Mountain Mama.
Call with a friend (5 minutes)
Sometimes it just takes a short phone call with a good friend to get us feeling right again. Us moms have marathon days and can get stuck in our head or our never-ending list of things to do. Speaking with a friend about a problem or just to reset ourselves with a different perspective if we feel stuck can be golden.
Time in Nature (5 minutes)
The best thing for us (for reducing anxiety, for balancing our hormones, for feeling at one with the universe) is being outside in mother nature without our phones (we can survive without them, thrive even!) Sometimes that’s all it takes to shift our mood a bit. A bit of Vitamin D or earthing to get us back on track.
Weightlifting (5 minutes)
I’ve been told that building muscle is one of the most important things women in mid-life can do. It can improve stability, boost the metabolism and preserve and build muscle mass. Studies show that women who do strength training exercises two to three days a week are more likely to live longer and have a lower risk of death from heart disease. While I am often carrying around a 30-pound toddler and consider myself to be pretty strong as a consequence, it’s not the same as strength training. So I bought a pair of simple 3-pound weights, which the kids are fascinated by, so I have to put them out of reach lest they drop one on their baby toes. I work out usually in the morning (8-12 reps) while the kids giggle and jump on the bed. I also found a yoga sculpting class that I go to religiously once a week and it’s the perfect combination of yoga and weightlifting.
Gua shua treatment with jade roller (5 minutes)
While I really do believe in getting professional facials every season, this is a mini at home facial that’s highly touted for its anti-aging benefits. In fact, incorporating a gua shua ritual into your life is recommended after a certain age. An ancient technique from China, it Involves scraping the skin with a smooth-edged tool (you can find it cheaply on Amazon). It’s great for puffy eyes and lymphatic drainage; also to smooth and tighten the neck and chin area. Apply a facial oil first like this one from Drunken Elephant or this one, though you don’t necessarily need anything fancy (you can use jojoba or rosehip oil or something else, like emu oil or tallow). Here is quick tutorial on how to do it. You can do this at night or in the morning though I tend to do it at night during the kid’s bath time as part of a quick wind-down ritual while they are in the tub (but some may prefer to do it in the mirror at first). Eventually you can do it while coconut oil pulling, or swishing oil in your mouth, if that’s something that appeals to you. Read more about this controversial but arguably beneficial Ayurvedic technique here.
Castor oil (1 minute)
Detoxifying, fertility-boosting and anti-aging, castor oil and castor oil packs have so many benefits (too many to list here). But for the sake of self-care / beauty, it’s great for reducing those frown lines. Just massage a bit around your third eye at night and voila. Some women use it all over their face and even in their hair (it’s very thick and hence very hydrating). I even put a drop of castor oil in everyone’s bellybuttons to help us sleep better, which is an ancient Ayurvedic practice known in present day as naval oiling. But in terms of beauty, castor oil is great on the face, especially that frown-y part between your eyes. I like to spritz rose water on afterwards and run a humidifier at night to keep my skin hydrated in the winter.
Crystal quartz eye mask (5 minutes)
I love this crystal quartz eye mask from Wild Grace. Not only does it feel luxurious, but it forces me to close my eyes for a few minutes. Again, this is more of a nighttime thing, usually when dad is home and playing with the kids downstairs (you can also do breathwork simultaneously). I wouldn’t recommend doing it near a two -year-old boy with a pretend drill that he may want to stick in your ear while you’re relaxing (I mention because this unfortunately happened to me). Clear quartz has many healing and spiritual properties, which is an added plus, but you can also use an aromatherapy weighted eye pillow like this one, which is divine, or just close your eyes and place cold spoons from the fridge on your eyes, which is great for reducing puffiness.
Tea time (5 minutes)
Winding down with a cup of caffeine-free herbal tea is always a good idea, not only for mom but also for the kids. I’m a fan of lemon balm or something with lavender or ginger, but an absolute treat is fresh mint tea. We usually do tea time after school and sometimes after dinner I’ll make myself a cup of herbal tea as it helps me sleep better.
And one final thought, these suggestions aren’t supposed to feel like additional things to add to your already long list of things to do in any given day. Once things are set up right, there should be some flow and ease to them, and it should involve minimal effort. For example, when I come to my bedroom, I see my weights, my jade roller and my yoga mat. It’s not like I have to set a reminder because the things are right there. I have a bowl of lemons next to my tea kettle, so it’s easy enough to make lemon water while making my tea. My journal is next to my bed, and easy to reach at night or in the morning.
And my breath? Well, fortunately my lungs are with me at all times—breathwork can be a hugely powerful and transformative practice, and it requires nothing but a few moments of our time.
