私たちは皆、親になる前に子育てについて間違った考えを持っていた。そのうちのいくつかは、他の人とは違うやり方をしようという、自分自身の奇抜な考えに基づいていたかもしれない。また、親になったばかりのころは当たり前のように思っていたことでも、後になってその考えがいかに滑稽なものであったかを思い知ることになる。以下は、私が子供を持つ前に信じていた6つの大きな嘘である。
This little gem is hilarious. You know what happened when I put an awake baby down in a crib or bed? They stared at me like, okay cool, I can chill here for a second. Then what are we gonna do, mom? Take a walk? Oh, let’s take a stroll around the block in the carrier! Then we can go watch a movie on the couch! I could use a little milk top off too. Thanks. I don’t personally know any of these mythical babies who fell asleep when put down while “drowsy.” What is a drowsy baby anyway? Babies have two modes: "Awake" and "I need to go to sleep, now! Milk, please!"
This worked for a little while, when we had one kid who went to bed earlier than we did. That phase didn’t last long. Now we have two kids, including one who likes to nap late and then go to bed late (with us). Often we all go to sleep together as a family, which is great. No bedtime battles. Some nights the stars align and both kids fall asleep early. By that point we are usually too brain dead to have a good conversation.
Our best times to reconnect are usually when we’ve all had a good day of adventure, filled our own cups, spent time with the kids, and then come home and turn on a movie. Then we can talk while we are feeling relaxed and the kids are engrossed in the screen. Another option, of course, is a trusted babysitter. Making time to talk about something besides the kids on a regular basis is important, but once I stopped expecting that re-connection time to happen in the evenings, I was a lot less stressed.
熱心な準備と運が重なり、私は母乳育児に苦労しなかった。6カ月間は母乳だけで育て、1歳になるまでに少しずつ授乳回数を1日2、3回に減らしながら、赤ちゃんが喜んで食べる固形食を加えようと考えていた。2歳までには確実に。私の子供たちは別の計画を持ってやってきた。生後6ヶ月の子供たちは、固形物にまったく興味を示さなかった。アボカドを差し出しても、"これ、髪の毛に入るの？"という感じだった。固形物を微量以上食べるようになったのは、1歳を過ぎてからだった。また、母乳育児を2カ月、3カ月、6カ月まで続けた素晴らしい母親も知っている。授乳期間がちょうど1年というのは、社会的に最も受け入れられやすい期間と考えられているが、それほど一般的なことではない。
長女が生まれたとき、私は当初、できるだけお昼寝のために抱っこすることにした。新生児だから抱っこが必要だったんでしょ？妊娠4ヶ月目だった！そして4ヵ月になったとき、私はちょっとしたパニックに陥った。ベビーベッドで昼寝をすることになっていたのだろうか？このまま自立して眠れるようにならなかったらどうしよう？結局のところ、心配する必要はなかった。小さな人間には、学び、自立しようとする驚くべき意欲がある。ただ、それを自分のスケジュールで行うだけなのだ。おむつをしたまま、おしゃぶりをくわえたまま、親と一緒に寝たがるまま大学に行く人はいない。彼らは皆、何の介入もなく成長する。心配する必要はない。
This one is only half a lie. My kids are only five and two-and-a-half, but things are easier in many ways than when they were two-and-a-half and zero. Those days with a toddler and newborn were hard. In many ways life is easier now. We get more uninterrupted sleep at night and no one screams through an entire car ride (most of the time).
At the same time, having two children with opinions and plans is in some ways harder than having one child plus a baby who can happily tag along on just about any outing. Little kids generally also come with little problems. Almost all of them can be solved by a nap, a hug, or some more quality time together. As they grow older, their worlds grow bigger and we can’t always fix their problems with a hug or by snuggling up together. Seeing them wrestle with difficult life experiences makes toddler tantrums look easy.
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ニーナ・パルモ
著者