As a parent of 5 children ranging from toddler to teenager and the CEO of a college preparatory company, I think a lot about how to create lifelong learners.
At pre-school drop-off or even birthday parties, parents will approach me about what they’ve read or heard about the uber-competitive college admissions landscape. They’re anxious about what’s to come. “It seems to get worse every year,” they say. How will their preschooler ever get in?
Colleges are seeking students who aren’t afraid to tackle big problems and make an impact in their communities. I truly believe that this mindset begins with nurturing a love of learning that is rooted in curiosity and exploration. As a mom, I also recognize this is easier said than done. But with the right approach, parents can equip their children with an open, inquisitive approach to learning that will serve them for life. Here’s how:
Foster curiosity
Children don’t come with prepackaged interests, or even a set of tools for tapping into them. However, anyone who’s ever watched a toddler try to squeeze their head through a too small space or climb on the sink to see what’s in the medicine cabinet knows that children have a powerful desire to explore – but not a lot of skills…or sense. Curiosity is essential for growth, no matter their age. Parents can channel this curiosity by gently guiding their child’s explorations and sharing the joy of discovery along with them.
Hands-on activities are especially great for fueling curiosity. Don’t just visit the aviation museum with your future pilot; sit down and build a model airplane together. My 13-year-old is obsessed with sushi. For his birthday, I considered making reservations at a local Japanese restaurant, but instead, organized a sushi-making class for our whole family. The older kids loved learning knife skills while our littlest one felt inspired to try raw fish for the first time!
In elementary school, it’s important to go broad, not deep. Let your child hop from topic to topic. Teach your kids to ask “why” often – and then demonstrate how wonderful it can be to find the answer.
Here’s another idea: on summer break, encourage your children to pursue a “research project.” In my house, recent projects have focused on soda (how it’s made, sold, etc.) and bunnies (their habitats, place in pop culture, …and cuteness). The most important part? We let the kids choose.
As they grow up, support their interests even if they fizzle out. Many will. But that’s not the point.
Don’t obsess about outcomes
Notice what’s missing in all these examples? Grades, gold stars, prizes, and applause. They’re nice but they aren’t the drivers of learning. Remember that a report card isn’t the sole measure of achievement. Joy in the classroom, small moments of pride in an assignment well done, as well as the ability to persevere through challenges are just as important.
With that in mind, try to help your child concentrate on the process of learning and on how they feel when they invest in their own preparation. Teach them how to study (yes, studying is a skill to be cultivated just like anything else). As importantly, ask them about the experience of going into a test prepared versus…not. It’s a game changer. The confidence they’ll feel from preparation is positive and reinforcing in itself.
Encourage positive habits
Daily routines and rituals can also go a long way toward shaping lifelong learners. We listen to podcasts in the car ( “How I Built This” is a favorite for our budding entrepreneurs) and encourage age-appropriate discussions about current events.
At any age, it’s also important to build frustration tolerance – that is, the ability to stick with something even when it’s challenging. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and a mom of three, places importance on the “learning space:” the liminal space between knowing and not knowing. It’s frustrating and often uncomfortable. That's how learning feels. If you teach your kids to persist through the “in between,” it’s the key to mastery - a powerful feeling that builds self-esteem.
Another way to develop resilient learners is to model a beginner’s mindset. Whether it’s knitting, beekeeping, filmmaking, or volunteering, take up something new yourself. You will not be good at it, at least not at first. Be kind to yourself, show the struggle…and the growth.
Finally, what I say to my fellow preschool parents is that we don’t even know what higher education will look like in 14 years. We should enjoy the journey with our children now and feel confident that no matter what the future brings, we’ll have helped them build a foundation for learning and discovery.
